This week-end, my son will be getting married. It has taken him a long time to make up his mind to even get married, let alone who to marry. But love found its way into his heart through a young lady has known for many years. They "bumped" into each other over a year ago and decided to start hanging out. Then things got serious. Love blumed and they are now ready to tie the knot.

I cannot help to think back on those naive days in my own life when I met and started to get to know the beautiful young lady I have been calling my wife for over 41 years. We had so much fun getting to know one another and became friends before we started really getting serious. Then the day came when I asked her to bemy wife while standing on the front porch of the dormitory where she was staying on the campus of Arkansas State University. And when she said "yes," she really meant it.

It is very interesting to me that Beverly and I are products of the free-love era of the 1960's, yet we both had "old fashioned" mores and morals that have sustained us through 41 years of marriage. We wanted the freedom of youth, but we were also guided by the strong Christian principles ingrained in us by our parents.

Many years ago, I heard a joke that went like this. A couple married 50 years stood in front of a judge asking for a divorce. When pressed as to why they were separating after so many years, the couple replied, "'Enough is enough!" I have to say that I just don't think I will ever get enough of life with Beverly Sennett. I not only love her, I like her, I trust her, and I truly appreciate her. She is the center of my world, and I'm happy my life is like that.

I was recently asked by one of my students at Palm Beach Community College, "How did you do it?" I had to think a moment then replied, "I guess I just decided that I like my wifes positives more than I dislike her negatives and never looked back." Believe me, I do not work at staying married, I simply try to be the best "me" I can be and then get the most out of everyday that God gives me.

A long marriage begins with two people who are already happy being themselves. Then they simply stay together--no matter what. It's really not that hard.

 
 

Every day that I wake up, I feel very fortunate!  Life is such a precious commodity, and yet so many of us have difficulty truly enjoying life to its fullest.

A couple of years ago, my mother's brother passed away.  I had not talked to him in over a year.  And had not seen him in nearly five.  When I was growing up, I saw him very little and only knew of him by mother's stories of her childhood.  He was in ill health for several months prior to his death.  And I did not take the time to go out to Kansas to visit with him.

Several months ago, I received the dreaded call that my mother's last living sibling, my aunt Jane, had passed away quietly at her home.  The last time I saw her was over five years ago when I went to her home in Mississippi and spent nearly three hours talking, laughing and reminiscing.  For the past four years or so, she had been living in Kansas with her son.  I had not  gone to visit with her after she moved.

Today, I realize that there is no one left of either of my parents' immediate families except for one of my mother's brothers-in-law who is living in Washington state.  I live in Florida.  I haven't seen him in about five years.  However, I have made it a habit to call him every so often to check on him and just visit.

I'm not a wealthy person, but most American's would think me successful and well off.  But I'd trade everything I have for a few more minutes with those of my family who have gone on from this life.  Sad that I learn this lesson at 64 rather than at 24.  I now understand why my father absolutely insisted on taking his family with him at least once a year to the "old home place" in Mississippi.

As a kid, I hated those weeks during the summer when I, a sophisticated big city boy, had to endure cow dung, straw floors and out-houses.  Yet, today, I'd gladly trade everything I have for an opportunity to sit down once again with my grandmother Sennett or with my grand father Wilson.

Because of my father, at least I have special memories of those wonderful people.  I have memories of walking down an old dirt road to Scotty's Store, of calling the cows in for the evening, of sitting on the bank of a small pond with a fishing pole waiting for that first bite, and of sitting in the old country church singing old hymns while the pew slats pinched my bottom when I wiggled too much.

I guess that's why for the past five years, I have happily driven to Orlando from West Palm Beach every Saturday with my wife to spend the day with our grand-son.  He won't have the same memories I have, but he'll have his own of me and his gramma. One day he'll look fondly on those trips to Universal Studios, Disney World, Sea World, Chuck-e-Cheeses, the zoo, and the "castle" park.  And those will help sustain him as he grows older and faces the inevitable losses of life.

To live is to know the reality of death.  And living means that every day holds its own wonderful possibilities of memories and impacts on our psyche.  It's not the accomplishments we make at work, or the possessions we accumulate, but rather the interactions we have with other people that truly make the differences and give meaning to our lives.  And in that understanding I find every reason to live life to its fullest with a deep gratitude for this wonderfully precious gift we know as life.

 
 

On December 11, my wife and I celebrated 41 years of marriage. Forty-one years!  Wow! Where did the time go? With all we've been through, I stand in awe that this wonderful woman has stayed with me through all those years. Who would have thought? And yet, here we are.

I am amazed that we are still married given the fact that we are both children of the sixties. We had long hair and wore outrageous clothes. We marched and protested, yet we some how believed in our country. I served in Vietnam war (1969-70), and she stood by me and supported me while I was overseas. We had our difficulties and I made some serious mistakes. Yet we stood by each other through it all. Even though we are part of the "me" generation, we found a real satisfaction in also being "we" oriented.

We have two marvelous children. Our daughter recently completed her B.A. degree with honors--and this at Rollins College! She hopes to start law school in August.

Our son has started his own business and seems to be doing fine. He's even found a wonderful woman who has agreed to marry him in May.

I have had a wonderful career teaching in college. And despite my musings about making movies after retirement, my bride has supported me in that effort. Her response was simple: "As long as it doesn't cost us any money, you just do anything you want." Actually, that's a ringing endorsement.

I know how much she wants to travel when she retires. So, I'll make sure that her plans are successful as I attempt to be the nation's greatest screenwriter during the 2010's and 20's. Hopefully, I can make enough money to support her wanderlust.

Forty years is a long time. Yet, somehow, it has seemed so brief.  Only yesterday, we were in college enjoying fraternity and sorority parties, going to the drive-in to "watch" a movie, freezing in the stadium at football games, and staying up late trying to make the homecoming floats look perfect. Then we took a deep breath and -- oops, it's forty years later.

I have had a great life to this point. And my wife has been the single most important part of that life. Now we stand on the edge of a great future together making plans for our fiftieth anniversary. I hope to take her back to Hawaii where we spent our real honeymoon (on our second anniversary).

So, stay tuned for more exciting things to come!